I first started this my senior year.
Mainly because of
He helped me a lot.
I started this because I thought it’d be a good way to vent about my toxic relationship without having to call someone and annoy them but if I ever want to “talk” to them about my problems I’d just like them to the entry. It was nice and
James would actually check this. Enough to the point where only he and my sister knew the password for this blog. Because it was mainly for them. For a while I felt that I had outgrown Tumblr. But now… I feel that I have outgrown the “reblogging” phase of Tumblr. I’d still love to have my blog and this time actually write. Maybe not about my everyday life, but random thoughts here and there.
It’s been 2 years since I’ve had this blog and I never touched it much. I didn’t need it much. But I’ve returned because I truly miss
James. He was such an amazing friend. And I’m not sure if I scared him away or became clingy. I still think about him often. I wonder if he thinks about me at all. If ever. I texted him back in January and he texted back about a week later. That made me incredibly happy. I hope everything is going great for him. I reread our emails all the time and hope all his classes are going smoothly and if he’s getting along with his parents. I guess I always thought I might have had something special with him. Maybe I did? I hope I did. He was an amazing friend.
He called me for my birthday last year. The only good thing about my 19th birthday was that a boy I became close friends with on the internet called me and left me a voicemail. That was the greatest gift I got last year. I just want to know how he’s doing. What he’s been up to. I guess I just really miss talking to him. I was always busy with school, as he was too, but I’d find time to write him essays worth of emails. He doesn’t check Tumblr anymore and I doubt he’ll ever see this. Maybe because I’ll start using this more and this will get buried or because I’ll delete this or because he just won’t ever touch Tumblr ever again.
I don’t really even know where this came from. I’m not an emotional person. And I’m not sitting over here crying of anything. I think I just was going through some of my old posts and decided to “move on” and this is how I’d like to “move on”. I’d like to start by talking about
James. Hmm. James… James was the sweetest guy I know. Well. Hopefully he still is. It’s funny. Thinking back there’s another James who was the sweetest guy I knew before I “met” James! Hahaha! Anyways. I think this was the start of be growing up and maturing without me really ever noticing it. And now I’d like to have a personal blog. Something with a little bit more substance. Also I guess I just miss writing. James was the only real reason I wrote in HS and my first year in college.
I’m going to end my little ramble here. I’m tired and I have to clean because my smart ass invited people over. I have class in 6 hours. Yay for Saturday classes!